Crazy Conversations: Money or Happiness?

The Babii came home from school the other day all worked up. Her class had a debate on which was more important, money or happiness. Apparently, a good number of her classmates chose happiness, and she was incredulous.

“How can they choose happiness over money?!? How can they be happy if they don’t have money to give to poor people?!?! How?!?! HOW?!?!?”

Uhmmmm…. I sup…pose I can accept that line of reasoning…. (“Hey Babii, wanna be happy? I’m poor, so gimme some money…. Pretty please?”)

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Today’s conversation

R was asking the Babii to clean her piggies’ cage, but she couldn’t find the little shovel for scooping their poop.

R: “Honey, where’s the poop scoop?”

Me: “Honey, it’s in the shed.”

R: “Honey, can you go get it?”

Me: “Honey, you know me. If I start juggling things in the shed, I will start juggling things in the garden. Then I will say: ‘Honey, can you help me?'”

R: “Never mind, I’ll get it.”

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Birds and Bees

This is my sister’s dog Cooper. He is an adorable, friendly teacup Yorkie and is much adored by the Babii.

One night while in the shower, she prattled on about how Cooper was neutered.

“Oh? And how did you know that?” I asked.

“Tita Jamie told me! She said it’s to prevent Cooper from having babies and health problems in the future.” She paused. “Apparently…. when female dogs get older they start having health problems.”

“Cooper is male.”

That stumped her. “But.… if Cooper is male, how can he have babies? Unless it’s the other way around for dogs…..”

“Nooo….” (Oh lawrdy, what have I gotten myself into again?) “You need both male and female dogs to have babies….”

Thankfully, the noise of the shower distracted her and that was the end of the matter. But I suspect it will crop up again the near future. She has seen the piggies do some funky stuff, and she will continue to ask uncomfortable questions.

And I haven’t even told her about Santa Claus! Or the tooth fairy! And now, babies?!?!

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The Dreaded Santa Question

So the Babii turns to me and says, “Can you explain to me again how Santa gets my letters?”

Gasp! (I know she’s already 9 years old, but what parent is ever ready for this question? Dammit, R where are you?!?! Wait, I know how to answer this one.)

“Magic.” (WTF.)

“But how does he know what I want?”

“Magic.”

By this time I was trying very hard to suppress a fit of laughter. (Yes, I’m a bad mother and a bad liar. Dammit R, where are you?!?!)

The Babii looks at me with an expression somewhere between suspicion and amusement. You see, I’ve made it a habit to give semi-credulous/semi-fantastical answers to the simplest questions so that in instances such as these I can come off as being my usual slightly demented self instead of a shameless fibbing parent. It’s called foresight. You’re welcome.

(GAH! How am I supposed to answer questions like that anyway? Does anyone have a manual????)

So she gives me a stern look and says, “If you’re trying to trick me…..” (Leaves threat hanging in the air. The Force is strong in this one.)

She proceeds to fold a long letter she already wrote to Santa. “I’m going to put this letter where you’ll never find it.”

I’m in so much trouble.

I think I’ll just tell her Santa got our flight schedules mixed up and sent his gift to Israel. Or I can tell her it’s a “guy thing” and that only her father can answer. 😀

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Crazy Conversations: Praying Mantis

One nice thing about having a garden is that it draws all sorts of interesting insects that life in the urban jungle normally blocks out.

One weekend, while poking around the leaves I spied a praying mantis going about his (her?) business on one of the flowers. Of course, I called the Babii, who came running to look, grabbed the camera and tried to take a shot. What I didn’t realize was that it is always a bad idea to announce the presence of bugs to boys men. R promptly picked it up and started playing with it.

Me: “You just ruined my shot.”

Babii: “Papa! Stop bothering the insect while it’s praying to Our Lord!“

(Uhm, yes, that too.)

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Bailey’s

Mothers usually know when their kids are up to no good.

As I was lying in bed one day, the Babii came in carrying this glass and looking like the cat that ate the canary. Knowing the contents of our fridge, I immediately sat up and demanded (ala police interrogation): “Is that Bailey’s, Babii?!?!”

She goes, “No……” then gives a guilty look and a grin.

“So why are you smiling like that?”

She tries to stifle her grin, then blurts out (with a lot of regret, I must say), “Papa won’t even let me near that stuff!”

Turns out it was chocolate milk.

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Knives and Test Papers

The front view (whoopee, an “A”!).

The back view. Good heavens.

Me: ” Why do you have knives on your test paper?!?!”

Shnufflebubby: “Because there was space!”

Thought bubble: Anak ka nga ng tatay mo!

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