Archive for October, 2011

Onward, ever onward

I’m a big fan of of moving forward. It was the theme of the first Full Metal Alchemist movie:“We have to move forward, because we have no choice”— Edward Elric (It sounded much better in Japanese).

It was also one of the first lessons taught by Zedd the wizard to Richard Cypher in Legend of the Seeker (Season 1): “In this life we cannot move backwards, only forward.”

They have one thing in common: they both did not stay faithful to their respective books! Bah. But I loved watching them just the same.

I know that things can’t be undone, and I know that we all need to move on with our lives. But moving on is a lot easier in theory, and not so clear cut in practice.

At the soonest opportunity I threw myself into work, and it helped to keep my mind on other things.

I don’t like wallowing, but I do find myself doing that from time to time. I try to indulge myself, because I don’t want to bottle it up inside only to have it burst out via a nervous breakdown a few years down the road. At the same time I have to watch out that I don’t wallow too much, because it’s just too damn painful and it’s a quicksand that could easily pull you down irreversibly.

Can I get any vaguer?

It’s just hard to come to grips that we — I — lost something so precious. And inevitably I blame myself. Each day I try to get over it, get over the drama, get over myself.

Life goes on. I have a wonderful family and we are truly blessed. Life is beautiful.


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One Friday Night


Our neighborhood is busy. Crazy busy. It has schools, restaurants, bars, a legendary flea market, and an ancient city, so most days of the week it is teeming with people and cars.

This is an alley in the heart of the flea market, on a quiet early Friday evening. In a couple of hours the bars and the streets would be full, but at this moment the lights had just been turned on, the sun just set and the summer sky just giving way to the stars. Perfect.

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mocha milk

Mothers usually know when their kids are up to no good.

As I was lying in bed one day, the Babii came in carrying this glass and looking like the cat that ate the canary. Knowing the contents of our fridge, I immediately sat up and demanded (ala police interrogation): “Is that Bailey’s, Babii?!?!”

She goes, “No……” then gives a guilty look and a grin.

“So why are you smiling like that?”

She tries to stifle her grin, then blurts out (with a lot of regret, I must say), “Papa won’t even let me near that stuff!”

Turns out it was chocolate milk.

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